I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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