I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
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