is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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