No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
