i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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