508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
