whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
