I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
