***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
