remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Two words: blizzard sex
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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