I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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