Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
