the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
