I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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