Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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