My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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