can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize