I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
