but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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