Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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