i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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