This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
