Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
We talked him into tasing himself.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
