Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
