awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
