Umm I'm too high to move.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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