just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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