I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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