Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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