FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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