I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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