: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
