Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
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Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
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Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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