Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
