You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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