the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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