come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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