let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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