so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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