Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(808): View more from Hawaii

i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.

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(808): i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon. http://tfl.nu/roae

Replies (12) Good night (938) Bad night (1148)
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(970): View more from Colorado

Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad

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(970): Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad http://tfl.nu/podg

Replies (3) Good night (1434) Bad night (779)
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(301): View more from Maryland

i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up

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(301): i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up http://tfl.nu/1cet

Replies (29) Good night (3956) Bad night (1056)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina

(1-973): View more from New Jersey

wtf

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(973): yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina (1-973): wtf http://tfl.nu/idhw

Replies (18) Good night (1394) Bad night (5393)
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(302): View more from Delaware

this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"

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(302): this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time" http://tfl.nu/89ij

Replies (10) Good night (1098) Bad night (1803)
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(585): View more from New York

I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.

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(585): I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late. http://tfl.nu/de8d

Replies (1) Good night (2860) Bad night (946)
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(810): View more from Michigan

I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.

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(810): I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure. http://tfl.nu/tlfm

Replies (5) Good night (1158) Bad night (1789)
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(716): View more from New York

Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.

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(716): Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan. http://tfl.nu/rfh9

Replies (4) Good night (1899) Bad night (777)
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(847): View more from Illinois

YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU

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(847): YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU http://tfl.nu/vl39

Replies (7) Good night (2189) Bad night (615)
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(574): View more from Indiana

Whiskey??

(706): View more from Georgia

It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...

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(574): Whiskey?? (706): It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale... http://tfl.nu/yixa

Replies (2) Good night (799) Bad night (1071)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man

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(832): Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man http://tfl.nu/dtih

Replies (7) Good night (603) Bad night (1190)
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(614): View more from Ohio

im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.

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(614): im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year. http://tfl.nu/ildj

Replies (1) Good night (534) Bad night (591)
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(956): View more from Texas

She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.

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(956): She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl. http://tfl.nu/od4d

Replies (2) Good night (1735) Bad night (348)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.

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(732): Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS. http://tfl.nu/p93u

Replies (3) Good night (644) Bad night (422)
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(407): View more from Florida

I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.

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(407): I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan. http://tfl.nu/2edr

Replies (14) Good night (888) Bad night (314)

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