Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(716): View more from New York

So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.

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(716): So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar. http://tfl.nu/a5mu

Replies (64) Good night (6764) Bad night (694)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.

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(864): he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs. http://tfl.nu/m2cw

Replies (10) Good night (4998) Bad night (590)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton

(781): View more from Massachusetts

then i met college

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(781): when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton (781): then i met college http://tfl.nu/kd7x

Replies (17) Good night (6285) Bad night (779)
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(231): View more from Michigan

I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.

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(231): I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom. http://tfl.nu/w091

Replies (6) Good night (541) Bad night (3948)
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(661): View more from California

I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.

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(661): I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is. http://tfl.nu/de6o

Replies (11) Good night (5569) Bad night (1087)
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(714): View more from California

I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born

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(714): I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born http://tfl.nu/tmja

Replies (13) Good night (3026) Bad night (1049)
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(210): View more from Texas

i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on

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(210): i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on http://tfl.nu/7n7l

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(423): View more from Tennessee

She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."

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(423): She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk." http://tfl.nu/peq8

Replies (9) Good night (2569) Bad night (851)
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(914): View more from New York

I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day

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(914): I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day http://tfl.nu/8r1c

Replies (7) Good night (2523) Bad night (1334)
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(337): View more from Louisiana

I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.

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(337): I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be. http://tfl.nu/u40q

Replies (5) Good night (926) Bad night (633)
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(614): View more from Ohio

Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.

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(614): Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes. http://tfl.nu/ghhe

Replies (13) Good night (541) Bad night (2235)
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(207): View more from Maine

cocks speak louder than words, as they say

(914): View more from New York

Nobody says that.

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(207): cocks speak louder than words, as they say (914): Nobody says that. http://tfl.nu/ymrk

Replies (8) Good night (1796) Bad night (520)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight

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(717): I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight http://tfl.nu/6mb9

Replies (2) Good night (775) Bad night (352)
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(714): View more from California

Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.

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(714): Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/n1sj

Replies (2) Good night (691) Bad night (390)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.

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(610): I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker. http://tfl.nu/5fnr

Replies (1) Good night (874) Bad night (277)

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