Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet