whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You need Xanax blowdarts
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Randomize
