No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.