I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
21 Horny People Confess Their Boldest Sexual Advances
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
29 Shocking Confessions That People Thought Were A Joke
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly