i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan