Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that

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  (313): Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that http://tfl.nu/fftq
  Replies (6) Good night (1210) Bad night (2989)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?

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  (312): Is it possible to jerk off a nipple? http://tfl.nu/fsvj
  Replies (9) Good night (910) Bad night (2768)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.

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  (709): She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it. http://tfl.nu/7xo2
  Replies (26) Good night (626) Bad night (4421)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.

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  (512): the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like. http://tfl.nu/1vno
  Replies (18) Good night (2068) Bad night (806)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.

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  (703): i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room. http://tfl.nu/rb5o
  Replies (24) Good night (1070) Bad night (6299)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.

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  (480): Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath. http://tfl.nu/qi8i
  Replies (9) Good night (3669) Bad night (1186)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.

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  (480): I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly. http://tfl.nu/a7gl
  Replies (10) Good night (3628) Bad night (1455)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.

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  (816): At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug. http://tfl.nu/yhlg
  Replies (7) Good night (4985) Bad night (1045)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?

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  (713): do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister? http://tfl.nu/m4fg
  Replies (5) Good night (2169) Bad night (536)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.

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  (920): I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable. http://tfl.nu/ga3p
  Replies (5) Good night (1521) Bad night (546)
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  (925): View more from California

  I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.

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  (925): I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea. http://tfl.nu/uulw
  Replies (1) Good night (612) Bad night (315)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises

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  (617): You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises http://tfl.nu/wnpw
  Replies (1) Good night (782) Bad night (435)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales

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  (978): Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales http://tfl.nu/1ec5
  Replies (1) Good night (1110) Bad night (627)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks

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  (304): Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks http://tfl.nu/ee5p
  Replies (1) Good night (496) Bad night (338)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed

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  (304): You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed http://tfl.nu/k800
  Replies (4) Good night (1472) Bad night (346)

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