Texts From Last Night

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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  you guys were way drunker than both of me

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  (612): you guys were way drunker than both of me http://tfl.nu/x140
  Replies (11) Good night (9596) Bad night (1125)
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  (432): View more from Texas

  My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT

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  (432): My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT http://tfl.nu/ckt8
  Replies (93) Good night (7600) Bad night (1760)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.

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  (405): Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am. http://tfl.nu/ox2k
  Replies (13) Good night (787) Bad night (4346)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.

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  (734): I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out. http://tfl.nu/oiev
  Replies (5) Good night (2979) Bad night (1336)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...

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  (303): Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water... http://tfl.nu/8ncn
  Replies (12) Good night (6941) Bad night (1473)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge

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  (828): then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge http://tfl.nu/hh8c
  Replies (10) Good night (4335) Bad night (1341)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.

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  (607): She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her. http://tfl.nu/f1tk
  Replies (7) Good night (4499) Bad night (1010)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina

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  (920): Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina http://tfl.nu/ae28
  Replies (10) Good night (3043) Bad night (779)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.

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  (+44): Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room. http://tfl.nu/d3jd
  Replies (5) Good night (1477) Bad night (665)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.

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  (505): He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink. http://tfl.nu/5ult
  Replies (4) Good night (888) Bad night (505)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...

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  (617): A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain... http://tfl.nu/gy86
  Replies (4) Good night (1239) Bad night (551)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.

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  (425): THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES. http://tfl.nu/y1ns
  Replies (9) Good night (1080) Bad night (778)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious

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  (209): i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious http://tfl.nu/dwdz
  Replies (5) Good night (1165) Bad night (554)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno

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  (224): my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno http://tfl.nu/95he
  Replies (31) Good night (466) Bad night (1573)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.

  (219): View more from Indiana

  My kitchen gets me.

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  (847): I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs. (219): My kitchen gets me. http://tfl.nu/xud3
  Replies (0) Good night (515) Bad night (203)

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