As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
