what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
