I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
