i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Houston, we have a squirter
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
