just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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