google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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