found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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