I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
