i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
