she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
