I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
