6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
