not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
