He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
